I thought demons weren't capable of love. Lust, yes, but not love. Love is too pure. You showed me otherwise.

And it hurts.

It hurts more than it ever did when I was alone. At least then I felt free, able to do what I wanted even if I was the Forbidden Child. Now I feel trapped. You make me feel trapped, with that charming, disarming smile of yours; those expressive green eyes; that melodic, soothing, persuasive voice.

You've broken through my barriers, even if you might not be able to tell. Then again, this is you I'm talking about. I can see it in your eyes. You know everything.

Sometimes I wish I had never met you. But even that thought makes my insides clench. In the end, I can't bare thinking of what would have happened to me if I hadn't met you.

Every time you ask what's wrong, I don't answer, because I can't. How can I explain that you are my problem? You're my daily torturer and you don't even know. I can't let you know. I'm afraid of your reaction. Would you be disgusted with me? Would you laugh it off as a joke? Would it hurt you to know that you hurt me? I think I know the answer. I realize you try hard to hide your weaknesses; like me. And like me, you show that weakness when your friends get hurt.

My problems are short-lived. I refuse to run from anything the three worlds can throw at me; I face any youkai who challenges me. But you. I could never harm you…nor could I turn away.

You have made me feel accepted, as if I have a reason to live in one of the three worlds. That's a new feeling, something I haven't experienced…ever. The ones who bore me condemned me. As I thought all worlds would. But when I met you, you showed me something else. You showed me that others might accept me, even a Forbidden one. You gave me much and I have yet to repay you. I fear I never can.

I suppose that is my shortcoming. I could never be like you, nor do I wish to. I'm fine with fighting with the baka, Kuwabara; I don't want to be everyone's friend. But I wish there was something that I could do to show you how much I care. I owe you, just like you owe your human mother.

Debts are things that should never occur. Though you would never do this, those you are indebted to will often take advantage of you. Use you when you least want. Though I despise debts, you could request all you wanted of me. I would never turn away. And I am disgusted by that weakness. Annoyed that I have let you get so close when so many have been turned away.

Ai shiteru, Kurama. But could you ever love me?